APRIL is International Autism Awareness Month and to mark this, ASCape, Bridport’s autism support group, would like to share the experience of one of its members.

MY MOBILE rings at work, my heart stops. Please don't let it be the school. Please don't let it be the school. I close my eyes for the briefest of seconds as I flick the cover open, look down. It is the school. Putting on a brave voice I answer.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry," comes the reply from the deputy head. "Can you come immediately, there has been an incident."

Dropping everything, with a brief, desperate look at my boss, I leave the office.

Arriving at the school, I am greeted by: “He's locked himself in the toilets. We can't continue to have this behaviour from him. He refuses to talk to staff. He's disrupting other children. He won't listen.”

Right at this moment I'm not listening either. I can hear my child sobbing from the boy’s cubicles. The fear in his cries have brought out the protective lioness in me.

"Give me a minute," I snarl at the staff.

They retreat, waiting outside the door. "It's ok hunny, just mum now. You are safe. I’m here. We will get through this together."

He opens the door and falls into my arms, and we slide onto the stinking bathroom floor. I'm beyond caring about urine as I rock my baby boy until his pain subsides. This is the third time this week me and this boy’s toilets have been acquainted.

My child is not naughty, my child has autism.

Autism affects different people in different ways, but ignorance, lack of understanding and support affects everyone the same. It cripples more than any disability every will.

Phrases like, “he's not listening,” “he's refusing to talk or co-operate,” are born of ignorance and lack of training in many professionals.

People with ASC often shut down, or “melt down,” when they are faced with extreme anxiety. The triggers for this vary from individual to individual. Over sensitivity to light, sound and touch. Social anxiety: they simply can't understand other people's behaviours or social etiquette. Many have learning difficulties which make the education environment even more challenging.

“That's OK,” I hear you say, teachers are trained for this, local authorities provide help and advice for parents. Some schools do try very hard to support the children in their care and individuals go above and beyond to make a difference.

However, the truth is that training is patchy, and some schools shun any child that doesn't fit the mould.

Local authorities are stretched, and it seems that the system is designed to shut parents out rather than to support. Voluntary groups and charities are often left to pick up the pieces and steer parents through the SEN minefield.

All the time our children are left to suffer in a system that appears to regard grades more highly than the child's well being.

This Autism Awareness Month, when you are standing at the school gate, look around. That funny kid with the overprotective mother is more likely a child struggling to get through the day, with a mother whose heart breaks every time the phone rings.

* You can find ASCape at https://ascape.club

The group supports children and young people aged 7 - 18, and their parents and carers. They run outdoors activities currently that are Covid safe.